first date tips : Be honest (but not too honest)

There are first date tips for almost everything, because first dates seem to be the first trial run for any future relationship. And because first impressions last, you should be careful what you say so that your first impression will be a good one. However, there are certain things even on first dates that it’s better not to talk about.

1) Don’t discuss past relationships. This doesn’t mean you can’t tell anything about yourself – you should not only talk about yourself but also listen to your date and find out more details about him or her as well. Just don’t let it go too intimately into who broke up with whom and why – if you really want to open this topic, first ask your date if it’s okay with him or her.

2) Don’t discuss private issues. Telling about yourself is fine, self-disclosure is healthy and first dates should be the time to reveal some important details about yourself. However, first dates are not an opportunity to tell everything that happened in your life – don’t talk too much about money problems, family drama or other personal issues that might embarrass you later on. Besides, first dates are first opportunities for both of you to find out what kind of people the other ones are. So keep first encounters light-hearted and joyful – first dates should feel like a first kiss: good but also leaving something unspoken so as to let the other one in first.

3) Don’t bring up politics or religion. As the first date is not a good occasion to argue about who is right and who is wrong, keep your first date light-hearted and don’t bring up such delicate topics. Even if you get along so well that you want to get married on first sight, first dates are for having fun and shouldn’t turn into opportunities of convincing each other of things that might be dear to your heart but that shouldn’t necessarily become points of disagreement too early on in a relationship.

4) Don’t discuss your exes: this doesn’t mean talking about yourself but rather telling lies or even lies by omission can harm potential relationships. If you do that, first dates become manipulative and unauthentic: the first impression you leave is not a good one and it will be difficult to recover from such first date tips later on in your relationship.

5) Don’t talk about others behind their backs: first dates are first opportunities for two people to get know each other so don’t turn them into occasions of gossiping about others. Besides, if your date tells something about someone else, your answer should always be positive – even if it might sound like you want to gossip too, all this “Oh I see…” or “Really? That sounds interesting…” can quickly turn into an invitation to continue talking and then where would you be? Gossiping first dates are first opportunities to show first date tips on first dates, but first opportunities for things that shouldn’t happen first on first dates.

6) Don’t talk about sex: of course, if you both feel more comfortable talking about it earlier on in a relationship, go ahead and do so. This is not an invitation to talk explicitly of your sexual conquests or desires – just don’t! If you want to have sex with your date at some point, keep it subtle and leave him or her room for imagination.

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